Three weeks have passed since the starting this challenge. Writing doesn't feel any easier. The quality of my texts hasn't improved at all, or at least I'm not feeling it. I'm out of topics to write about, and speding so much time writing or stressing about it limits the interactions which could be used as source material. I had hoped to write more about my ideas and values instead of complaining and filler content, yet here I go again. Writing about writing is the boring kind of meta.

For the first time in my life I've been able to do day's work before any fun activities, the way traditional work ethic is taught. It hasn't been of any use; after writing a single text, my mental energy for the day has been used up. When there's no immediate deadline motivating me, nothing will get done. I'm uncertain whether this comes from having insufficient slack, or just lacking robust work-ethic-habits. This makes it hard to build a buffer. Not only because writing something for tomorrow is hard, but also because if I had written something for taking a break later, using it immediately would feel justified.

It's often a struggle for me to switch focus multiple times a day, once or twice seems to be the normal amount, and it's quite taxing. That is, between productive things. It's not that hard to switch between video games, movies, reading, and eating pizza. This also applies for socializing, sometimes even responding to texts requires a context switch. This means it's way more efficient for me to do a lot of one thing at once, instead of spreading it over the whole week. And sometimes when I don't feel like doing something, I just cannot focus on it. The panic from a deadline aften helps, but one thing I have learned is that deadines are almost never fixed, and those that are, you can live without.

This is mostly problem with work. Programming or document reviews sometimes feel like pulling teeth, especially if I feel it's too hard and I'm stuck or even worse, blocked waiting for someone else. Once in a while, I go a couple of weeks producing nothing, especially if I don't feel like I'm making progress. Other weeks, especially on greenfield projects, I lose the sense of time and work productive 10 hour days without any issue. I have tried having normal 9 to 5 job, but I just can't. Eight hours in the office, even on the days when I'm not productive? Unthinkable.

On other areas of life, this also causes issues. Stydying a specific topic is sometimes doable, but not in the way school systems work. University courses are spread over multiple months instead of one intense week, meaning that there's a need to constantly switch focus. I've heard it argued that repetition over time is how we learn, but that's not working for me too well. Not that I'm capable of learning anything I'm not interested in in the first place.