(This was mostly written as a part of a quick writing session at the Lurkshop. Thanks to Evgeny, whose handle I do not know, for some refinements and suggestions!)
Most of the complexity in fitness- meal timings! ice baths! macro-meso-microcycle periodization! buy my special turbopowderjuice!- is either of questionable value or is about squeezing out that last few percent that a professional athlete has to care about.
For the rest of us, it mostly doesn't matter.
Here are a bunch of short and simple tips accumulated across my years of gradually doing less dumb things. This list won't include much in the way of specific movement recommendations and won't talk much about managing weight loss; it's mostly focused on the Meta of Gains.
Go forth and attain Gains.
Or, depending on what you're throwing your money and time at, it could be a net negative... unless you just really enjoy the Rituals of Gains for their own sake.
Ask me how I know!
Obey 'do not kill yourself' first and foremost; she does not try to do crazy 1RM deadlifts or anything else that would go poorly with her specific medical conditions!
I suspect this is largely because telling a patient "hey just get ripped bro" is not the most clinically effective intervention.
I do not mean to imply walking is near useless! I try to get outside and walk at least 10 miles a week on top of the rest. Audiobooks, podcasts, language apps and such are all solid options to add a bit of productivity to the walk if you want it.
I do not recommend GVT with a deadlifts + squats day, unless you enjoy suffering.
It's nice to hit both vertical and horizontal pulling motions to cover things more thoroughly, but if you work your way up to bodyweight bent over rows, you're probably gonna be able to do a fair number of pullups.
I haven't tried the door-hung pullup bars. Practice due caution when hanging from questionably supported things.
It appears this effect is related to muscle nuclei persisting even when the fibers atrophy.
"Compound" movements are those which involve several muscle groups at once, like bench presses and deadlifts.
Hex bar/trap bar deadlifts are a nice compromise between deadlifts and squats. If you're not practicing for powerlifting, but you want a really heavy lower body movement, consider doing it instead of conventional deadlifts/squats. Most people I've observed tend to do hex bar/trap bar deadlifts reasonably by default.
I don't even do conventional deadlifts, squats, or barbell benches anymore! They're fine if you like them, but I've just found a different set of movements I prefer. As long as you're picking movements reasonably, the strength transfers: I'm much stronger on conventional deadlifts than I used to be, even though I don't do them.
Unless that is your actual goal for some reason.
and unfortunately, Enhanced Gains currently come with a nasty side effect profile. Unless your only goal in life is Gains, probably avoid.
Who knows, you might be like me and have a weird kind of hypothyroidism, a sleep disorder, and other fun things! I wasted decades feeling absolutely horrible because I thought that was normal! It's not! Don't do what I did!
(I considered not using tortured wordplay in the title of this post, but I failed my will save.)