C: Babe, whatever happens, I really appreciate you doing this for me.
J: Okay. I still don’t think it’s a good idea.
C: Look, it’s a one-time thing. I’ll just feel better knowing.
J: …I turned it on.
C: So… what’s the holdup?
J: I just don’t think I’m in a place in my life where… uh…
AI: Other than what he’s already told you, the main reason is that your teeth are crooked.
C: …Seriously?
J: It’s really not a big deal for me.
AI: He sort of means that.
C: I didn’t think you were so shallow.
J: I’m not proud of it. But what am I supposed to do about it?
C: You must have noticed my teeth the first time we met.
AI: Yes.
C: And for three years, you’ve thought they're unattractive?
AI: More or less. Last year, around November, you read an email from his boss in a Mickey Mouse voice, and you broke down giggling before you could finish. In that moment, he thought the crookedness of your smile was really cute.
J: See?
AI: But the moment passed.
C: This is almost funny.
J: I think we’re very compatible!
AI: He believes that.
C: What else is there, besides my teeth?
AI: What he’s already told you is mostly true. Right now, he thinks the top previously-unstated reason isn’t your teeth anymore, it’s that you made him do this. It’s hard to say whether that’ll still be true later. Other than that, he doesn’t like that you tried cannabis.
C: Once!
AI: And that you said something rude about a homeless man. He doesn’t remember what exactly. He thinks about your teeth much more often.
C: That's all? What about how my mom disapproves of him?
J: What?
C: Didn’t you notice the way she treated you when she visited last month?
AI: He did not.
J: …Okay. But I’m not dating your mom. If she hates me, I don’t care.
AI: He would care, but it would bother him less than your teeth. And less than the cannabis. He's unsure how it would compare to your comment on the homeless man.
C: Oh my god.
J: Look, I heard straightening teeth is cheap now. You can get a kit to do it all at home, if it bothers you.
C: It doesn’t bother me. I’m sure you'd be thrilled if I straightened my teeth.
AI: He’d feel guilty. But eventually, he’d probably be glad. As long as you don’t break up with him first.
C: Babe, whatever happens, I really appreciate you doing this for me.
J: Okay. I still don’t think it’s a good idea.
C: Look, it’s a one-time thing. I’ll just feel better knowing.
J: …I turned it on.
C: So… what’s the holdup?
J: I just don’t think I’m in a place in my life where… uh…
AI: Other than what he’s already told you, the main reason is that your teeth are crooked.
C: …Seriously?
J: It’s really not a big deal for me.
AI: He sort of means that.
C: I didn’t think you were so shallow.
J: I’m not proud of it. But what am I supposed to do about it?
C: You must have noticed my teeth the first time we met.
AI: Yes.
C: And for three years, you’ve thought they're unattractive?
AI: More or less. Last year, around November, you read an email from his boss in a Mickey Mouse voice, and you broke down giggling before you could finish. In that moment, he thought the crookedness of your smile was really cute.
J: See?
AI: But the moment passed.
C: This is almost funny.
J: I think we’re very compatible!
AI: He believes that.
C: What else is there, besides my teeth?
AI: What he’s already told you is mostly true. Right now, he thinks the top previously-unstated reason isn’t your teeth anymore, it’s that you made him do this. It’s hard to say whether that’ll still be true later. Other than that, he doesn’t like that you tried cannabis.
C: Once!
AI: And that you said something rude about a homeless man. He doesn’t remember what exactly. He thinks about your teeth much more often.
C: That's all? What about how my mom disapproves of him?
J: What?
C: Didn’t you notice the way she treated you when she visited last month?
AI: He did not.
J: …Okay. But I’m not dating your mom. If she hates me, I don’t care.
AI: He would care, but it would bother him less than your teeth. And less than the cannabis. He's unsure how it would compare to your comment on the homeless man.
C: Oh my god.
J: Look, I heard straightening teeth is cheap now. You can get a kit to do it all at home, if it bothers you.
C: It doesn’t bother me. I’m sure you'd be thrilled if I straightened my teeth.
AI: He’d feel guilty. But eventually, he’d probably be glad. As long as you don’t break up with him first.
C: Who said anything about that?