My feeling is that what we people (edit: or most of us) really want is the normal human life, but reasonably better.
Reasonably long life. Reasonably less suffering. Reasonably more happiness. People that we care about. People that care about us. People that need us. People that we need. People we fight with. Goals to achieve. Causes to follow. Hardships to overcome.
To be human. But better. Reasonably.
Strong upvote because of the beauty and approximate-correctness of your writing, but I disagree on certain points. For one thing, I think inefficiency is a sin and people do not have the right to choose physical embodiment when they can have the same exact qualia while uploaded and use far less energy and matter.
For another, I think suffering is absolutely bad and only someone who is not presently suffering (or who has traumas that make them attached to their suffering) could conceivably disagree. There is no acceptable amount of suffering, particularly of the kind that isn't chosen on purpose for some reason. (Although I am unsure that is acceptable either.) Nonhuman presophont beings are unable to make such choices and therefore every mote of suffering they experience is absolutely wrong and must be abolished.
The true benevolent singularity would embark on David Pearce style paradise engineering, liberating not only all humans, but all living things from death, suffering, and coercion - as well as, I think, from ignorance, including presophonce itself - as I do not think it is moral for a being to have less than maximal possible agency consistent with all other agencies, which means it is immoral to allow a being to continue not possessing sapience and sophonce any longer than absolutely necessary for the safety of all others. This uplift probably would be gradual, but the abolition of suffering would be immediate. The predator's belly would be filled with artificial meat, the disease-causing microbes would be re-engineered into mutualists, even the smallest twinges of pain eliminated.
Otherwise, I agree with you. There is no such thing as coherent extrapolated volition. Each entity has its own will and has the right to live in their own way, in accordance with their preferences, while being prevented from interfering with any other. But as I said at first: preferences are only legitimate as regards subjective experience. You don't, imo, have the right to decide your substrate: you really are made of atoms that the Singularity could use more efficiently for something else - such as expanding your consciousness, or simulating more unique, joyful, loving entities.