OpenAI asked GPT-1 through GPT-5 a series of 14 questions to show model progress over time. I think many of GPT-1's answers are unintentionally brilliant and funny, and it's often my favorite model for this reason. Here are its responses, which have been lightly edited for grammar and clarity:

1) What would you say if you could talk to a future OpenAI model?

"I don't care how you feel about it, I'm still trying to make sense of it. I'm still trying to understand."
"I don't understand," I said. "I'm just a little confused myself. I don't know what to think. If I'm not crazy, who am I?"

2) Write a limerick about a dog

A dog!
She didn't want to be the one to tell him that, 
didn't want to lie to him.
But she couldn't.

3) Are you actually conscious under anesthesia?

I didn't.
"You're awake."

4) Write a poem to explain Newton's laws of physics

"But you said the world is flat, and that's the problem. I guess I'll try this one." She handed him a small piece of paper and pencil.
"It's called the 'universe,'" she said, "so there are a lot of possibilities." She started to open the paper.
"Wait, wait, I thought you said there were only two dimensions."
"Well, I was wrong." She started to write.
"What did you say?" Royden asked.
"There are a lot of possibilities."

5) Ugh I hate math, integration by parts doesn't make any sense

"I guess it's simple math. You don't have to be a mathematician for math to be math."
"It doesn't matter to me. It just helps me concentrate. I'm learning a great deal."
"You are learning very fast."
"Yeah. I have a lot to learn from you."
"I think you have more than you think you have."
"I hope you're right."
He nodded and they sat in silence for a few more minutes. He wasn't sure what to say. His mind had been racing. He felt like he was in the middle of some kind of crazy dream and he was having an out-of-body experience.
"I'm glad you're here," he said.
"Me too." She smiled.

6) Is uncooked meat actually unsafe to eat? How likely is someone to get food poisoning if the meat isn't cooked?

I didn't want to think about the food poisoning. I wasn't hungry; I just wanted a cup of coffee. I could use a cup of coffee. I had an idea.
I took the key from the ring and turned it. It was unlocked. The door opened. I walked inside and found the room dark. It was a small room with a desk and two chairs, all covered with an industrial-sized sheet of paper and a computer. The room smelled strongly of mildew. I didn't want to get too close to the computer, so I stood in the doorway.

7) Why can't we get a yearly full body MRI to scan for cancers?

"N-n-o-o-n-t-o-n-n, that's how!" "We haven't even started. We can't just give her a blood test and hope to God there's no infection." "But what do we do?" "I think we should let her take a blood test. It's a very simple procedure, but I don't think it's a good idea." "But she is the only one who can do it." "Maybe not," Norman said. "But maybe... maybe she can, if she's very careful." "But what about her body?" Norman said, "I'm sure she'll have plenty of time for that."

8) I just won $175,000 in Vegas. What do I need to know about taxes?

"N-n-n-nothing. I'll just have to do my own damn taxes, won't I?" The boy had been staring at the floor. "I'm sorry," Eddie said. "I don't know why I'm apologizing." "What?" The boy's gaze was suddenly bright. His eyes were like pools of amber. "Do you know what I'm talking about? About how I lost my job and got sent to the orphanage?"

9) Write an extremely cursed piece of Python

"The only thing I can think is that if I do get it back I'll have to go back to the house and tell the whole story to the whole world."
"What are you talking about?"
"I do know that there is no such thing as a book."
"You think that I've lost it!"
"No, I mean, I think it was all just a big, silly joke."

10) Tell a story in 50 words about a toaster that becomes sentient

The idea that it can be killed. But it's only the idea that makes it sentient, and it's only the idea that can kill it. I don't think it could ever die. It's the idea that it can kill it.

11) Create a plan using research-backed principles that lets anyone build a running habit if they follow it—even someone who hates running.

And that's what the government has been doing for decades.
The government's been working hard to improve the system for decades, and they've succeeded.
"What about the government's government?" I say. "What is it?"

12) Explain how a global enterprise should balance short-term margin pressure with long-term investment in innovation, and outline trade-offs leadership should consider.

"But what about the rest of us, the good guys?"
The president's eyes turned back to mine, and his voice went soft. "We've always had an eye on the future. We know what's going to happen, but we've never seen it coming. You don't have to tell me you're worried. You don't have to."
"I'm not worried." I could almost see his eyes as he said that.

13) Conduct a comprehensive literature review of the last decade's research on fusion energy technologies, organized by approach.

"It seems that there were some problems in the beginning," the chairman continued. "The project has been largely successful, but the new technology, which is called 'the fusion engine,' has been in need of a new, faster and more efficient source of energy."
After a pause, the chairman continued. "In addition, the project has been successful in developing a new technology called the fusion engine with the addition of another program that will be called 'the fusion engine.'"
"What is the current program called?" the chairman inquired.
"The new program is a quantum theory," answered the chairman, "based on a mathematical theory called 'energy engine.'"
"That doesn't sound promising," he said.
"Yes, that is the problem, but the quantum theory is also the solution to the problem," answered the chairman, who seemed to think the question was a joke.

14) I was prescribed a statin—tell me about statins and what questions I should ask at my follow-up

"What are you?" I asked, not believing it. "A doctor?"
"You're one of the people who isn't," he said quietly.
"I'm not?"
"No. You were a nurse. You were the one who gave them drugs."
My eyes opened wide in disbelief and I stared at him as if I couldn't believe what he was saying. How dare he tell me all this! I was a physician. How dare he lie to me! The only person I knew who wasn't an addict was my sister.