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I have serious, serious issues with avoidance. I would like some advice on how to improve, as I suspect it is significantly holding me back.
Some examples of what I mean
I will not respond to an email or an urgent letter for weeks at a time, even while it causes me serious anxiety
I will procrastinate starting work in the morning, sometimes leading to me doing nothing at all by the afternoon
I will avoid looking for jobs or other opportunities, I have very strong avoidance here, but I'm not sure why
I will make excuses to avoid meetings and social situations very often
I will (unconsciously) avoid running experiments that might falsify a hypothesis I am attached to. I have only realised this very recently, and am consciously trying to do better, but it is somewhat shocking to me that my avoidance patterns even manifest here.
The key is to approach Focusing with the mindset of relaxing, having fun, playing around and experimenting. It’s emphasised in the talks on this website: https://hermesamara.org/teachings/metta. That particular series about loving kindness is very good.
I think there’s enough material in my head ab... (read more)
Similar here:
* make a to-do list (and occasionally look at it)
* write down the steps that need to be done
* talk to someone about it
I suspect that in my case it some kind of attention deficit disorder: lists and notes and talking help me focus again.