Three levels of forgiveness - emotions, drives and obligations. The emotional level consists of your instinctual anger, rage, disappointment, betrayal, confusion or fear. This is about raw raws. The drives consists of your "need" for them to say sorry, make amends, regret their actions, have a conversation or emphasise with you. In other words, it's about needing the situation to turn out a particular way. The obligations are very similar to the drives, except it is about their duty to perform these actions rather than your desire to make it happen.

Someone can forgive all of these levels. Suppose someone says that they are sorry and the other person "there is nothing to forgive". Then perhaps they mean that there was no harm or that they have completely forgiven all levels.

Alternatively, someone might forgive on one-level, but not another. For example, it seems that most of the harm of holding onto a grudge comes from the emotional level and the drives level, but less from the duties level.

5Pattern4moThe phrase "an eye for an eye" could be construed as duty - that the wrong another does you is a debt you have to repay. (Possibly inflated, or with interest. It's also been argued that it's about (motivating) recompense - you pay the price for taking another's eye, or you lose yours.)
2Chris_Leong4moInteresting point, but you're using duty differently than me. I'm talking about their duties towards you. Of course, we could have divided it another way or added extra levels.

Your duties (towards others) may include what you are supposed to do if others don't fulfill their duties (towards you).

Chris_Leong's Shortform

by Chris_Leong 21st Aug 201980 comments
Crossposted from the AI Alignment Forum. May contain more technical jargon than usual.