sarahconstantin's Shortform

sarahconstantin

This is a special post for quick takes by sarahconstantin. Only they can create top-level comments. Comments here also appear on the Quick Takes page and All Posts page.

links 1/13/2025: https://roamresearch.com/#/app/srcpublic/page/01-13-2025

https://www.construction-physics.com/p/why-skyscrapers-became-glass-boxes
- plain glass box skyscrapers were, in fact, more cost-effective for developers. it's not all about architectural tastes. architects in real life are very far from all-powerful.
  - in fact, I really think people should stop writing books/movies/etc about auteur architects; it only encourages more young people to go into architecture and become unemployed. I'm looking at you, Francis Ford Coppola
https://www.betonit.ai/p/the-typical-man-disgusts-the-typical
- pointing in the right direction, but overstated/inflammatory. women don't go around being "disgusted" by every man they interact with socially.
  - rather, most women find the idea of having sex with a randomly selected unfamiliar man disgusting, even if there's nothing particularly the matter with him. typical straight women are cautious/selective about sex and fairly slow to warm up sexually to new people. not much "lust at first sight."
  - but yeah, getting rejected when you ask women out does not in fact mean you are inadequate or unattractive! getting rejections in dating is normal, just like every author gets rejected manuscripts and every job applicant gets rejected from jobs. the average man gets a lot of "no"s and at least one "yes", and eventually marries a "yes."
  - also i share Bryan Caplan's view that women shouldn't be offended by being asked out by someone they aren't interested in. sure, persistent harassment can be a problem, but a simple question isn't.
https://nabeelqu.substack.com/p/principles Nabeel Qureshi
- I agree with most of this, but "you don't need much sleep" is very individual. some of us very much need plenty of sleep and our lives improve dramatically when we face that fact.
things I googled while reading about Venice

1Mo Putera2y

I should've been clearer, my bad. 1. For most dating app users, I'm genuinely uncertain how representative both assumptions are, and I'd be curious to see more data regarding both (Aella's surveys maybe?) 2. For me, neither assumption holds; I suspect this makes me un-representative of most users: 1. I decouple dating from sex, and do use these apps to find platonic acquaintances 2. I swipe right mostly if I predict the person is interesting to meet up with, and swipe left on the majority of "lust at first sight" profiles

2Viliam2y

Is that officially supported by the apps? Like, is there a selection like: "I am looking for... someone to marry / a one-night stand / a platonic friend"? Do you do something specific to indicate that platonic friends are what you are looking for? I am asking because if there is such option, then probably many people use it that way. If not, then maybe your approach is unusual. (But maybe not too unusual, because otherwise people would not respond to you, or would be disappointed after meeting you?)

Depends on the app. Tinder for instance has a section called "What are you looking for?" that everyone else can see, whose selectable options include "New friends", "Still figuring it out", "Short-term fun", "Long-term partner", and a mix of the last two. People in my area use a pretty even mix of these, and their signaling is usually honest.

sarahconstantin's Shortform

8

sarahconstantin's Shortform

8