I basically agree based on personal experience that telescopic altruism is not a thing. Liberals, progressives, and EAs who care about distant strangers don't especially neglect their own family and friends. It's just not a pattern I observe at all.
It seems like everyone puts themselves and their family/friends first. and to the extent "lefties" even do tend to care more than "righties" about distant strangers, that care doesn't seem to come out of a fixed budget such that "righties" do nicer things for their family & friends. the "extra caring about strangers" is either virtually free (it affects how you vote, or how you talk, or what you read, or what you work on, and "righties" also vote/talk/read/work, just differently) or it just makes you generically more worried, because you worry about distant people in addition to nearby people.
I do think there is a thing where some people put energy into following politics at the expense of their career or their housework, which is a sort of "caring about distant strangers more than matters close to home", and can be irresponsible... but that seems to exist on both sides of the political spectrum!