Lol, one reason it's hard to talk to people about something I'm working through when there's a large inferential gap, is that when they misunderstand me and tell me what I think I sometimes believe them.
Separating two different points in my example, there's "You misunderstanding my point leads me to misunderstand my point" (the thing I think is the most interesting part) and there's also "blarg! Stop misunderstanding me!"
I'm with you on your suggestion of framing a discussion as uncertainty about a problem, to get less of the misunderstanding.
In light of reading through Raemon's shortform feed, I'm making my own. Here will be smaller ideas that are on my mind.