The "Friendly AI Critical Failure Table" was originally posted by Eliezer in 2003; when I ran across a mention of it somewhere, I realized that a lot of people probably haven't seen this old classic yet.

(For people not familiar with the concept, "critical failure tables" are found in some tabletop role-playing games. If you are trying to do something and fail really badly (a "critical failure"), you may be required to consult a table that contains a list of catastrophic outcomes that your screw-up might cause, rolling some dice to determine which one of them you did cause.)

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Specifically, the AI is an incorrigible practical joker.

Of course

The GURPSFriendlyAI page linked from the message, on the Wayback Machine:

The AI Critical Failure Table linked from there (renumbered and slightly expanded from the version in the message):