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leogao

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i have a theory that a lot of people go through "emotional healing" only to end up as still-broken people who now have "being healed" as a big part of their identity that lets them feel superior to other people who are less far along the chosen path than they are. ofc, there are also people who are actually emotionally in touch. an easy way to distinguish such people is to notice how you feel around them. do they make you feel more calm and grounded, or do they make you unhappy and defensive?

Thank you, this fits my model, although I have never put it in words this way. Now I'd say that some people just profess being healthy, while others are healthy. (Maybe even: "if you need to tell others that you are emotionally healthy, you are probably not". With some caveats, e.g. if they explicitly asked you, and you answered.)

Uhm, a third option, what if they found a coping mechanism? Not the same as not having the problem at all, but also not the same as suffering helplessly. There will be some inflexibility, but the benefits are real.

And of course all of this is on a scale.

3Arjun Panickssery5mo

The last part surprised me because in general I don't think of heard of considering whether other people make you "feel more calm and grounded [vs] unhappy and defensive" as an insight into whether those others are psychologically well. What is the theory of the connection there?

4leogao5mo

emotions are somewhat contagious. someone who is very at peace will also make people around them at peace. someone who is unhappy will make people around them unhappy. someone who wants to help people out of a deep love for all people will make those around them feel differently than someone who wants to help people as a way to affirm their own superiority.

leogao's Shortform

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leogao's Shortform

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