a fundamental divide

in the domain of things, the best way to accomplish anything is usually to aim directly at it. it doesn’t matter how virtuous you are, or how well intentioned your inquiry is, if you are not aiming directly at the thing. reality doesn’t look on your virtue and reward you for the virtue per se. if you’re bad at something, you practice until you’re good at it.

in the domain of people, the best way usually involves some amount of being virtuous and doing things for the right reason. if you lack friends, it’s cringe and comes off as desperate/needy and even manipulative if you optimize too hard for meeting people and how to induce emotional connection and trust. rather, you should work to become a virtuous person who genuinely cares about people and then things will work naturally.

i think this leads to a lot of miscommunication between the groups. it seems desirable to develop the ability to do both depend on the setting.