I’ve dealt with depression too. When I have a period of prolonged stress of more than a day or two, about two weeks later, I’ll start seeing the symptoms. For a long time I didn’t notice until I was coming out of that state, but over time I have gotten better at recognizing the symptoms.
When I am in that state, I try to remember that my brain is not functioning properly. I remind myself that it’s temporary, and even if I can’t update my aliefs (how I feel), I can trust my past self enough to act as if things are no where near as bad as my brain is telling me.
Sometimes it’s helpful to try to simulate what I would say when not depressed, but it’s also sometimes hard to know when I’m depressed. That part has gotten easier over time.
When I’m depressed I find myself spontaneously saying, “What am I going to do?” I also get frustrated much easier. There are other, but those two are the easiest for me to recognize when my brain is depressed.
Honestly, the best question to ask is, “who can I ask for help?” That help may be as simple as someone to sit with quietly, or can get a hug from. Often I have found that once I push through and reach out—even when my brain is yelling at me not to—it has an immediate positive effect.
If you can, talk to a psychiatrist. They have the training to help you navigate through the depression. Also, I have way fewer depressive episodes than I used to because I was able to find medication support. It makes all of this is easier.
What you are going through is awful, and even more complex than I have experienced. I really hope that you can find some relief.
Today my state has changed a lot, it's as if I went from suicidal to immortal.
However, someone known here as gwern expressed interest in stories from when I was a militar firefighter. link
It wasn't really my goal, but I've been posting my story here. link
To summarize: it starts with my proudest moments as a firefighter and ends with despair. Maybe, all of this leads to the following question:
What could I do when I feel like I'm in a hopeless shitstorm?
It is not the most common nowadays, but it still happens.
Since I can't save lives as a firefighter anymore, maybe I can save some ideas - or at least myself a little more - by asking for help to see other people's best ways.
When I'm experiencing some kind of change like depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, or simply feeling despair with no breathing space, the main problem seems to be that I believe a piece of information, like:
"I'm in deep shit! There's no way out."
In other words, I believe I'm in the worst there is and that there's no way out; that's information.
And the best way I know to correct this information is with questions.
What's the best question to ask when I feel like I'm in deep shit?
Or I`m talking nonsenses?
Apparently, the best question I have to shake confidence in something is to ask about the confidence level. In the case of self-talk:
- I'm in deep shit! There's no way out.
- Do you completely trust in this information? 100%?
- I'm 100% confident that I'm in deep shit... Wait... No! That's too much!...
So it seems that with this question, I've gained a conscious opening to question myself.
Do you know of a better question?