Hello LessWrong! First time posting here. I am a second-year college student, and I am interested in doing independent learning outside my coursework. Books I've been eyeing / trying to read include The Sequences, The Selfish Gene, and Superintelligence.
However, I've noticed that it feels much more like an obligation, which makes the process much less enjoyable and rewarding. I feel like I want to have read, instead want to read. Particularly, I noticed that as I was reading The Sequences, I constantly checked how far away from the end of the current essay I was. When I got to the last page, it felt very good; but the reading itself did not feel as rewarding. At its core, I feel as though I want to have read so that I can feel like I've made progress. But it's dutiful and it's draining.
In short: how can I make the reading itself more rewarding and remove the 'ought' feeling, shifting myself into a more curious and motivated mindset?