One of my side interests is developing better sexual education and ways to unshame sexuality in our society. As an integral part of human nature, and one that affects our behaviors, goals, moods, and sense of self so strongly, I feel that it deserves a lot more attention and healthy guidance than what we typically get. In particular, it seems to me that the onset of puberty hits many unsuspecting children like a brick wall, with few supportive and safe spaces to go to for advice.
In an effort to create a positive view of puberty and sexuality - as a beautiful and joyous challenge, rather than a hidden "there is something wrong with me and no-one can ever find out" sort of narrative - I thought it would be great to add the Sex Fairy to the pantheon of magical creatures kids grow up with - in line with Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc. This way they can always anticipate the big and important transformation coming, knowing that it will be tough, but will also give them access to new exciting superpowers, like love. It would also set an easier and lighter tone around having conversations about sexuality and asking for support.
And as any magical creature, she needs a backstory to bring her into existence. Below, I tried a first pass at the Sex Fairy Lore - curious to get any feedback and reactions in the comments!
Warning: this version may not be meant for kids and has some explicit sexual parts. This is intentional, in-line with the theme of uprooting the hush-hush culture around sex and creating an open conversation where we can "call a spade a spade" and drop the euphemisms and allegory. To me, clear language is also an important part of the path to consent culture.
In the hazy mist of our distant past, all people had magic. We were born just like kids are today – small, helpless, and endlessly curious. Everything around us excited and amazed us – every splash of sunlight, every movement of a butterfly wing was imbued with indescribable magic. How could these colors form such crazy, and yet perfect patterns? How could these insects play around in such incredible harmonious dance of life? As we grew, we found patterns and rules governing some of the gears of our magnificent world clockwork – just as we found an ever-expanding abyss of questions and wonders at its foundation. And with time, we came to see the wonders of the unknown engulf our seeds of knowledge. In those far times, we chose to embrace this mystery of not knowing, and as we dove ever deeper into the wonder, we started feeling the heartbeat of the universe. In our love and trust for the world, our heartbeats synchronized, and our will merged with the world’s will. And so it was, as we grew into adulthood, the world was ours to command, just as we were its. Magic was natural as walking and unifying as sunshine.
Yet with time, as the world surrendered its ever more profound secrets to the love of the people, it overwhelmed us. The wonder and curiosity that has once taught us to see the magic, has now run thin, and we craved for the miracles to stop, to give us rest. And so separation has found its way into the world. Rather than acting out the world’s will, we started using our magic to resist it, to stop the world in its track, to keep things from changing any further. As we turned on the world, we turned on each other. Fear rampaged across our hearts, and our lands, as we fought for control of reality and of our lives. The deeper was our wonder before, the harder we battled the world now for our personal safety from change. And as the earth burned violet and blood flowed black, one warrior saw the end of all drawing near.
Like the others, Ea has loved this world deeper than her own heart. And like the others, she was now devastating and murdering to save herself from ever-growing changes. Finally, she saw it: the war, the destruction, the change that overtook her beautiful planet was beyond her powers to resist. And so she stopped – not the world, but herself. Not the changes, but her resistance to them. Not defeated, but surrendered. Ea saw then that as long as people had unlimited curiosity and love, we would have unlimited powers – and that was too much, too overwhelming for us to enjoy. She stopped trying to bring her world back to where it once was, and dared to move forward. She now looked to support new change – a change that aligned itself with the will of her massacred dying earth.
And she saw it. A soft limit on people’s love and power. One that can be overcome easily, but only by embracing change fully – by surrendering oneself and one’s will to another. Absolute power would only come with absolute surrender. Absolute surrender would take absolute courage.
At long last, Ea felt her will resonate with the heart of her earth once more, like all those years ago when she was young and full of wonder. She realized she knew not what would happen, nor how she would do this – and the long-forgotten sense of trust and curiosity filled her with power. She was, again, one with the world and with all her people – even as we were destroying the last of each other. Her wings blazed violet with the glare of fires, and gold with the sunshine above as she rose over the scorched earth. Strands of energy spread from her in all directions, weaving a web, a matrix entangling all the people and creatures, permeating the earth. As energy currents grew, they drew power from people’s desire to stop change, our desire to control each other and the world – and the web tightened around us, ensnarling us, binding our magic inside our bodies. And as Ea saw the power draining from the enchanted fires, energy of destruction waning with them, and her people frozen and bound, turning slowly into stone, she saw that this could stop all – end all.
But her plan had love, even as her people had forgotten it. And her world knew love, even as it laid scorched beneath our feet. From the earth beneath each person emerged flowers of two kinds – snake lilies and orchids, wrapping gently our bodies, transforming us into two kinds of form. The flowers found their way to the centers of our bodies, turning into two forms of sacred portals that would now give us access to the force of love coiled tightly inside us. The snake lilies became an outward portal, the cock – projecting the seed of creation through the fabric of existence, impregnating it with structure and meaning. And so became men. The orchids formed an inward portal, the pussy – accepting the flows of the universe deep inside their bodies, to nurture them and give them new life. And so became women.
And neither portal could bloom without the opposite. Separated, they were enough to keep us alive, but not to reunite us with the heartbeat of creation that sourced us, not to free us from Ea’s restraining web. To wield the full power of our life once more, to move the world to our will, we had to first surrender our will to another. When the cock penetrated the pussy fully, surrendering the man’s power to the last drop, filling the woman’s body, heart, mind and soul to the brink, when we gave up our separation, becoming one inhabiting both bodies - only then could we flow with and through Ea’s restrains. Only so could the wonder of the unknown fill us once more, letting us resonate in our innocence with the world, as the world, limitless.
And thus became sex - the path to absolute love, yoga and power - but also the door that guarded these. Ea swore henceforth to guide her people through that door, lest we forget our true source. And so it is, we are born, as always, small, helpless, and endlessly curious. For the first twelve years, the snares of Ea’s web do not touch us, and our wonder grows freely. But as we approach the threshold of power, Ea comes to bind our love inside us, so that we might learn true surrender. Our cocks and pussies focus our bound life-force and become our guides on the path - in touch with our inner magic and outer purpose. The more we surrender to these guides, their call and their power, the easier our path to love becomes.
And yet so often we resist. We shame their call. We shame love itself as a weakness. Our pride tells us we are separate, we are too good, or we aren’t good enough. We fear change, we fear losing control we never had, fear losing ourselves we never found. Unwilling to surrender to the omnipotence of wonder, we start seeking refuge in the limited power of knowledge. We discover laws, and we write down rules. We form rules even around sex – the very path to freedom. Especially around sex. It is the prime threat to our precious limitations, to our familiar cage. We reduce sex down to another conquest for our pride, to ownership, to an act of merely carnal pleasure – anything but facing what it really is. We cannot resist its fascination and its power, and yet we fear truly experiencing it, knowing it will incinerate our beliefs and ideas of who we are.
Ea keeps a patient watch on our struggles and desires. She knows the path of sex is hard. Absolute surrender takes absolute courage. She guides her people gently, from the first initiation of puberty, through every act of devotion to love, and every heartbreak of attachments. Patiently, she grows our passion for each other, for the world, and reminds us of our source in love, our birthright of pleasure – so that one day we may be bound together in true freedom.
“The moon has become a dancer
at this festival of love.
This dance of light,
This sacred blessing,
This divine love,
to a world beyond
only lovers can see
with their eyes of fiery passion.
They are the chosen ones
who have surrendered.
Once they were particles of light
now they are the radiant sun.
They have left behind
the world of deceitful games.
They are the privileged lovers
who create a new world
with their eyes of fiery passion.”
-Rumi, The Privileged Lovers