Splitting these into things that are time investments and things that you want to stop doing is one way to look at it. Another way to look at it is to divide things into recurring and non-recurring time investments. For example, exercising regularly is a recurring time investment, that takes a few hours every week; but scouting out gyms, choosing an exercise routine and setting the precedent for doing it is a one-time investment. For things that look like recurring time investments, or that look daunting, try to split off one-shot tasks that move you in the right direction.
Spending a higher percentage of the time working at a computer actually getting stuff done, instead of getting distracted by the internet.
More concretely: Install Leechblock (or a similar plugin) to either give yourself a time limit, or limit which times of the day you can surf in. Make your blogreading more efficient with RSS feeds. Choose the site with the lowest intellectual content to addictiveness ratio and delete it from your bookmarks.
finding some recurring activity where I'll probably meet the same people over and over to improve the odds of making longterm friends.
More concretely: Browse meetup.com and similar sites for recurring activities in your area which others have organized.
Improving my diet, which mostly means eating less cheese. I really like cheese, so this is difficult.
It is much easier to change your diet by adding things than by removing things. To displace cheese, add other sources of fat and protein. However, removing cheese from your diet would not necessarily be an improvement, and it's unlikely to be the best available improvement.
Stop making so many off-color jokes. Somewhere there is a line between doing it ironically and actually contributing to overall weight of prejudice, and I think I've crossed that line.
More concretely: come up with some general-purpose jokes that aren't off-color, and start using those instead.
Somehow stop losing things so much, and/or being generally careless/clumsy. I lost my wallet and dropped my lap top in the space of a month, and manage to lose a wide array of smaller things on a regular basis. It ends up costing me a lot of money.
More concretely: cultivate the habit of checking your inventory whenever you exit a building (even if you really do have everything). Put some thought into how you manage the inventory items you tend to carry. Throw out any clothes with insufficient pockets.
Thought I'd check in and let people now how their advice has paid off so far:
Just wanted to followup on how these suggestions have actually worked out for me:
1) I installed "Stay Focused" (Leechblock for chrome). It has definitely helped, although I'm not sure how much. At the very least it makes me aware of how much time i'm spending. An issue is that approximately every few minutes, the programs I work with take 30 - 200 seconds to save or open a file (I do computer animation), so a substantial fraction of the day is spent waiting, during which I could be surfing (or doing something) and after the 10 minutes of surf-time I gave myself expired, I started finding new sites that I hadn't blocked yet. Today I tried the "nuclear option" which just blocks all internet except a few sites that I specify, and I think that worked better.
2) I've been making an effort to jog instead of walk whenever I need to go somewhere and occasionally just did it because. I haven't reached my goal of "20 minutes of solid exercise," but if I were able to maintain the amount I've been doing over the past week I'd be less worried about my health.
3) Someone gave me a bunch of cheese for Christmas, but despite that I think I've actually been doing okay. Again, if I actually maintained the amount I ate this week I'd be less worried about health. I'm under no illusions that'll actually happen without making some additional effort to find a replacement food for the cheese niche.
4) Today I got on the bus, took my hat off, and then left it on my seat. I only remembered it because some lady said "hey, you forgot your hat!" So… the "losing things" issue is still looking pretty not-good. I guess I should try to put everything "detachable" in my backpack as soon as I sit down, but in some situations that's not feasible. (Either I don't have a backpack or the item doesn't fit).
5) Going to a crazy top hat party this weekend, which isn't a recurring activity but will make me feel good enough that I can postpone finding one for another week before I start feeling guilty again. Yay?
I support the idea of deciding on places to keep things. I have several small objects I need to keep with me (wallet, phone, iPod, appointment book) and I avoid losing them by always putting them in the same pockets. This also works for some members of my family who have your same problem.
This is what I do.
Also, don't be afraid to be stubborn and set in your ways. It really helps to own only one of something (one purse/backpack/tote, for instance) and always use it. Have a spot where you use your laptop and always use it there. Refuse to buy expensive and fragile things most of the time, and if you do buy something fragile get a case for it and a special routine for protecting it. If you're frequently losing/breaking things, that means you're not used to devoting mental energy to your possessions; so you should reduce the amount you need to think about them.
Regarding cheese: how do you normally consume it? Finding healthier alternatives that occupy similar niches might help. For instance, if you usually spread it on bread, you could substitute hummus; if you're making paneer-based curry regularly, you could substitute tofu; if you're melting it on top of nachos, I have no suggestions, because nothing melts quite like cheese.
I eat it on crackers (hummus is a good suggestion), but the two main areas that aren't that easy to replace are sandwiches and just plain eating slices of American cheese by themselves. Which was originally a replacement for eating slices of meat by themselves.
Cheese has a certain soft-yet-firm quality to it that A) makes it a good glue to hold other things together, B) I just like. I've tried a lot of the standard replacements and I could probably convince myself to prefer them if I worked at it long enough, but it'd be hard.
I suspect fixing the cheese situation will probably end up being last on the list. It's sort of my equivalent to cigarettes - comfort food that I get twitchy without. I don't know exactly how unhealthy it's making me, but I think it's the one thing that if I try to fix at the same time as everything else, I'll end up failing, and most of the other things are at least as high a priority.
To start with I'll try getting some hummus though, and seeing if I can at least cut back a little on the cracker-related stuff.
You might want to consider substituting another kind of cheese for American. I suggest this for two reasons: 1- If you have to cut it, rather than having it presliced, you'll be more mindful of how much you are eating it. 2- American cheese has more additives than other forms of cheese.
I, also, think the hummus suggestion is good. Keeping other healthy snack foods around might also be helpful- fruit, salsa, guacamole, carrot sticks or baby carrots and nuts.
Once you decide to address the less cheese goal, you could try rationing your supply. Decide how many crackers and/or slices of cheese you are comfortable eating in a single serving (and be realistic or you won't stick to this), and bag them separately, to force a deliberate choice if and when you go and open up the second package of the day. If there are more slices in a package of american cheese than you want, and you know you will be too tempted, it is of course possible to immediately throw half of them away on your way home if nothing else works.
Or if you want to be bolder, just don't buy things that are conducive to incessant oversnacking. That way you exercise your willpower in the grocery store, not at home when you're hungry and your willpower is compromosed.
Hummus is good on sandwiches too, FWIW. Also guacamole, bean spreads (put a can of black beans and a can of artichokes (drained) and some garlic and olive oil and salt and pepper through a blender: awesome dip/spread!), baba ghanoush, lox, cucumber slices, pesto (contains cheese).
I'm just curious - a few people have apparently voted this down. Why is that exactly? If I'm breaching some etiquette I'd like to have it explained to me.
Some people probably think it is more productive to read about abstract problems and solutions rather then hearing about an individual problems and solutions.
Given your title they may have thought they were going to read an easy on when board SI wins over narrow SI and/or vise versa.
Both the abstract and personal are valuable in my mind. I would suggest a tag in the post title maybe? [PER] for personal or [IND] for individual.
The cheese, losing things, and new apartment goals seem like they can be solved in whole or part by one-time changes. Alicorn's suggestion about cheese sounds right, and you should also consider switching to healthier cheeses and avoiding or altering situations where you would snack on cheese. Similarly for losing things, I found that I would lose stuff less often once I had dedicated locations for key items (e.g. keeping my wallet by the door, my cell phone in my jacket pocket), which is also a one-time decision followed by a commitment to sustain the practice.
But you might want to wait on physically organizing your stuff until you get the new place. It seems like the move would unlock a lot of extra time you could use to work on all the other goals. You just have to remember to keep up your momentum once you make the move; for me, there's always the temptation to give myself a pat on the back and permission to relax for a while after doing something big.
Basically, I'd suggest starting with the improvements that are just about removing obstacles, impediments or distractions (for these, you just need a one-time burst of energy, which even many ordinarily akrasic people can do, I think), then use your extra time & energy to tackle the ones that are about altering existing habits or creating new ones.
What sometimes helps me retain my momentum, after a big improvement like a move, is making sure my internal narrative notices that if I'm not working on something now, when I have momentum and a newfound supply of extra time, then I'm not likely to do so in the future; in other words, the way I spend my time now is not being traded with future time, but is instead representative of future behavior. So in this sense when I start now on one thing, I am inclining my future self to start on the next task.
This was helpful (or at least feels helpful right now, before I've actually started doing anything). Making the apartment my first priority is a good idea.
The "losing stuff" doesn't so much have to do with how things are organized around the house, but how they are organized when I'm in transit. I lost my wallet on the train when I set it down next to me (after showing my train-pass to the conductor) and then forgot to pick it up again when I left. I previously lost a hard drive when I was temporarily living at a friends' house, and then he moved to a new house and I moved home. So it's not a single one time change I need to make, it's some kind of change in the way I keep track of things while I'm going places.
Glad I could be a little useful.
Sounds like the losing stuff is also a goal that requires longer term commitment, and should be tackled later with the other habit goals. I used to lose stuff all the time too, and I'm not sure how I stopped.
It might have something to do with wearing more of my stuff (more pockets, wearable bags, etc), though I am really not sure. But if you are going around with a lot of stuff you have to carry separately, and no or few pockets in your outerwear, you might try a week with wearable storage, and see if that helps noticeably.
Consider introducing a new, harmless source of short-term gratification to your lifestyle, and only using it to reinforce behavior consistent with these goals.
On #1 you may consider adopting a standing desk. Standing while working improves your posture and also is a form of mild exercise.
I'm not sure how much control over my desk at work I have. What I've been considering for home, though, is one of those exercise balls that force you to use some muscles while sitting. Not sure how that compares to actually standing the whole time.
Exercise ball worked well for me.
I tried a halfway solution, one of those round inserts you can put on an office chair, and it actually made my posture much worse. Standing desk would be tough for me where I work, and I tend to stick out my hip and lean to one side when standing for long periods.
But the ball was great. I think the primary mechanism for posture is that it makes me notice immediately when I'm slouching, since it's uncomfortable when I do so (while on a normal soft chair slouching is relaxing).
The first day on the ball I could only handle a couple of hours, and my legs were sore for a few days afterwards. But after day 3 it was no more difficult than sitting in a chair, and less difficult than sitting up in a chair. If you try it and after a week or so you don't feel good, then it's probably not for you.
I started using a standing desk at home about a year ago. It may have benefited my posture some, but the most worthwhile benefit is that I don't "zone out" while standing, and have stopped loosing hours on the internet. It's still comfortable enough for long periods, but I no longer spend long periods on the computer unless I really intended to in the first place.
Everyone I've seen try to adopt one of those balls has given it up relatively soon. I'm not sure it's worth it, unless you can try one free to see if it works for you over an extended period of time.
As for desk, I've read a lot on desks a year or so ago, when trying to make a case to my boss for a better chair/desk. While unsuccessful in changing anything myself, the research I did ended up pointing to adjustable standing/sitting desks as being best if you can finagle one. Standing is generally better for you, but you will be better off if you can change your posture by taking a sitting break now and again. Also useful for eating lunch at your desk, for instance.
I'm a firm believer in working on one thing at a time when it comes to improving skills, and defining "thing" as narrowly as possible.
In animal training, the advice is usually to work on one aspect of a behavior at a time. For example, if I'm training my dog to sit, I decide ahead of time whether I'm working on latency (how quickly does she sit when I cue her?), duration (how long will she hold a sit before I release her?), form (where does she put her feet?), etc. A training session will make some progress in that area that generally carries forward, and then I can switch areas.
Humans aren't dogs, of course, but I suspect there's a shared principle.
(Unrelatedly: I used to be a cheesehound and then cut cheese out of my diet almost completely about three years ago. But I did so by having a stroke and being post-traumatically hypervigilant about food for about a year. I don't recommend that strategy.)
I agree with other commenters that suggest getting a new place be your top priority.
You could try geting somewhere close enough to work that you can jog (or cycle) there and back each day. That should get you your exercise and appreciate-the-outdoors-warm-fuzzies, as well as saving you the cost of a gym membership.
As to your goal to get more exercise:
I work at a computer for 9 hours a day, and spend about 3 hours commuting on a train
I wouldn't spend extra energy working out. When I commuted last summer 3 hours/day I found that working out wasn't worthwhile. I exercised like a maniac the first month and a half and then just lost all motivation. Maybe 30 minutes, 3 times per week, but in order to keep a healthy body, I would suggest improving your diet. This is just advice; take it or leave it, I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life.
Good luck, and if you can find it in you to work out as well, you're far more motivated than I am.
Edit: after reading the rest of your post, I see that you want to move closer to your job. I strongly suggest this, especially if you want to have a social life and work out. With 12 hours/day spent on your job, having both of those is going to be really tough. Also, I saw that improving your diet is important to you. I do suggest cutting down on cheese. When I did a calorie count for my diet I had to do this as well, and it really made me sad...but it's worth it, in the end. However, this depends on what else is in your diet. If you don't have many sources of fat in your diet other than cheese, you may be okay, but this is not likely, fat is everywhere.
remember, immediate gratification<good diet
Thanks. I appreciate all the specific advice I'm getting here.
I'm not particularly obsessed with exercising, I just want to make sure I'm keeping my body in decent shape. A sort of loose near-future goal was be able to jog for 20 minutes, since being able to go faster for extended periods of time will actually be useful to me getting around the city.
Right now I do a lot of walks. If I don't take the bus, which I often don't, it's an hour walk from the train station back to my house at night. It doesn't elevate my heart rate but it at least replenishes my supply of appreciate-the-outdoors-warm-fuzzies. But I can't maintain a continuous run/jog for more than 10 minutes.
Lately I've been identifying a lot of things about myself that need improvement and thinking about ways to fix them. This post is intended to A) talk about some overall strategies for self-improvement/goal-focusing, and B) if anyone's having similar problems, or wants to talk about additional problems they face, discuss specific strategies for dealing with those problems.
Those issues I'm facing include but are not limited to:
Of those things, three of them are things that require me to actively dedicate more time (finding an apartment, getting exercise, social life), and the others mostly consist of NOT doing things (eating cheese, making bad jokes, losing things, getting distracted by the internet), unless I can find some proactive thing to make it easier to not do them.
I *feel* like I have enough time that I should be able to address all of them at once. But looking at the whole list at once is intimidating. And when it comes to the "not doing bad thing X" items, remembering and following up on all of them is difficult. The worst one is "don't lose things." There's no particular recurring theme in how I lose stuff, or they type of stuff I Iose. I'm more careful with my wallet and computer now, but spending my entire life being super attentive and careful about *everything* seems way too stressful and impractical.
I guess my main question is: when faced with a list of things that don't necessarily require separate time to accomplish, how many does it make sense to attempt at once? Just one? All of them? I know you're not supposed to quit drinking and smoking at the same time because you'll probably accomplish neither, but I'm not sure if the same principle applies here.
There probably isn't a universal answer to this, but knowing what other people have tried and accomplished would be helpful.
Later on I'm going to discuss some of the problems in more detail (I know that the brief blurbs are lacking a lot of information necessary for any kind of informed response, but a gigantic post that about my own problems seemed... not exactly narcissistic... but not appropriate as an initial post for some reason)