[Trigger Warning: I’ll be discussing a physical injury, recovery, and panic attacks in detail. The first three pictures linked are gory. Again, they are linked, not directly shown]

Trauma

One year ago today, I was in an accident with an industrial drone. It was spinning too fast while arming (like how helicopters spin up before they took off), but nothing we tried would fix it. Eventually, I changed the PWM value back to the default value, and it spun up even faster. Fast enough to take off right into me.

It tore up my arm. It tore up my face. After screaming, it didn’t hurt that bad, so I thought I overreacted. I told everyone “I think I’m okay”. They didn’t believe me, and I was rushed to the hospital. The pain was horrible, but the nausea was worse. I had made everyone apple pie that day, but I didn’t get to keep my piece.

The doctor thought I needed facial reconstruction surgery, so they put me in an ambulance and shipped me to another hospital. They stitched me up, said no facial surgery was needed, but that my lens and iris were destroyed in my left eye. A couple days later, my eyeball bruised. A week of checkups and eye drops 4 times a day, they then put me under for surgery.

I woke up in so much pain, so confused. They told me to keep my head down. I asked Why am I in so much pain? repeatedly. They put me in a wheelchair to take me outside, and told me to keep my head down. But all I could do was feel terrified because I was in pain and no one was doing anything about it. I’m told to keep my head down as they put me in my dad’s car, so I kept my head down and hurt.

For a week, I had to keep my head down. When I ate, my head was down. When I talked to someone, my head was down. When I slept, my head was down $^{1}$ . I couldn’t play piano like I used to because of my arm. I couldn’t read like I used to because of my eye. I couldn’t even think like I used to because my working memory was shot. I felt so powerless and isolated.

How am I supposed to program or learn new things when I could barely keep 3 things on my mind, when I could barely read off a screen for 2 minutes before having to take a break? How am I supposed to connect with someone when I could barely look them in the eye, when I couldn’t even give them my full attention?

On top of that, I was on eye drops to sooth my eye from all the other eye drops I was taking. I was on laxatives to relieve constipa...

Safety (Physical)