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Random LW-parodying Statement Generator

by Armok_GoB
11th Sep 2012
1 min read
221

100

Humor
Frontpage

100

Random LW-parodying Statement Generator
96gwern
11A1987dM
6gwern
18Normal_Anomaly
11A1987dM
7thomblake
2gwern
2TGM
2gwern
0faul_sname
8negamuhia
6mej10
90Nornagest
52acephalus
40Shmi
52RomeoStevens
14faul_sname
2RomeoStevens
2faul_sname
35Desrtopa
35Larks
30faul_sname
27Dreaded_Anomaly
12J_Taylor
12TimS
11ShardPhoenix
9SilasBarta
8thescoundrel
8Randaly
7Armok_GoB
6faul_sname
5Armok_GoB
8faul_sname
4Armok_GoB
0NoSignalNoNoise
2FiftyTwo
2listic
28Eliezer Yudkowsky
7SilasBarta
6Giles
24J_Taylor
24J_Taylor
23Desrtopa
22RomeoStevens
21[anonymous]
23Pentashagon
18thomblake
14Will_Newsome
6Will_Newsome
11wedrifid
2TheOtherDave
4Will_Newsome
4Karmakaiser
4Multiheaded
20[anonymous]
20asparisi
20AlexMennen
20BlackNoise
20philh
19Richard_Kennaway
19SilasBarta
9Vladimir_Nesov
1Armok_GoB
4SilasBarta
0Armok_GoB
2SilasBarta
0Rubix
18[anonymous]
0Will_Newsome
18MixedNuts
16Cthulhoo
1Armok_GoB
3Cthulhoo
0Karmakaiser
0fubarobfusco
15Richard_Kennaway
13Normal_Anomaly
13Lightwave
12KenChen
12Document
11RomanDavis
11[anonymous]
8RomeoStevens
22Rubix
11Dolores1984
5falenas108
2NancyLebovitz
4Rubix
4Dolores1984
12Dolores1984
11FiftyTwo
6SilasBarta
0Dolores1984
4FiftyTwo
8Dolores1984
2Dolores1984
4FiftyTwo
0[anonymous]
10shokwave
10NancyLebovitz
10Armok_GoB
10negamuhia
10palladias
9Desrtopa
9Desrtopa
6gwern
9Kaj_Sotala
9Normal_Anomaly
9knb
9cousin_it
1Armok_GoB
9Normal_Anomaly
1Armok_GoB
16Alejandro1
2Normal_Anomaly
9Rubix
9Eneasz
8darius
0Armok_GoB
8chaosmosis
8iii
1Armok_GoB
8Airedale
5beoShaffer
8FiftyTwo
5Armok_GoB
8asparisi
8ewang
8MrMind
9MrMind
7minorin
2Armok_GoB
7ygert
7NoSignalNoNoise
10TheOtherDave
7[anonymous]
6BT_Uytya
6Richard_Kennaway
6A1987dM
6Psy-Kosh
6TGM
6NoSignalNoNoise
2A1987dM
0NancyLebovitz
6fubarobfusco
6NancyLebovitz
6RobertLumley
6J_Taylor
6see
5[anonymous]
5[anonymous]
15[anonymous]
7gwern
-2[anonymous]
5DataPacRat
0Armok_GoB
0DataPacRat
5Richard_Kennaway
5TGM
5komponisto
5NoSignalNoNoise
5aaronde
1Armok_GoB
5NancyLebovitz
1Armok_GoB
5Will_Newsome
2Armok_GoB
2A1987dM
0SilasBarta
5SilasBarta
5Scott Alexander
35Scott Alexander
0FiftyTwo
4Tenoke
4Psychosmurf
4beoShaffer
4[anonymous]
4Slackson
4[anonymous]
24asparisi
4Trevor_Caverly
4drethelin
6Normal_Anomaly
1Pentashagon
3ChristianKl
1Armok_GoB
3devas
1devas
0Armok_GoB
3magfrump
3ZenJedi
2FiftyTwo
8DanArmak
3Rubix
0Armok_GoB
3[anonymous]
3curiousepic
2Steven_Bukal
2[anonymous]
0Armok_GoB
2SilasBarta
0Armok_GoB
2SilasBarta
0Armok_GoB
2SilasBarta
2NancyLebovitz
2Bruno_Coelho
2asparisi
2[anonymous]
2Luke_A_Somers
1Armok_GoB
2FiftyTwo
2bramflakes
10FiftyTwo
1FiftyTwo
0Armok_GoB
1Manfred
14maia
0[anonymous]
0[anonymous]
0faul_sname
New Comment
221 comments, sorted by
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Click to highlight new comments since: Today at 10:26 PM
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[-]gwern13y960

what is true is already so. Robin Hanson doesn't make it worse

OK, I'm impressed.

Reply
[-]A1987dM13y110

I saw this comment in Top Comments before reading the top-level post, and I thought the quote was by a human (as a reply to someone who was offended by the homo hypocritus explanation of something).

Reply
6gwern13y
I am shocked that (according to Wei Dai's page), this is now my most popular comment ever (with the runnerup at 39 points). It's not that funny an insult of Robin, guys.
[-]Normal_Anomaly13y180

The upvotes are flowing freely in this thread, because we're all brimming with positive affect! Yay!

Reply
[-]A1987dM13y110

I don't find it to be an insult of Robin at all. (And don't get me started about the scary things that page shows.)

Reply
7thomblake13y
Is it even an insult of Robin?
2gwern13y
I took it that way, although since it was machine-generated there's no 'intent' involved by the original speaker... Robin reminds me strongly of Hellman's quote about cynicism - being an unpleasant way of telling the truth.
2TGM13y
At the time of writing, it had more upvotes than the OP... surely that's not right?
2gwern13y
Well, you know the old joke about the repairman: the $1 for the labor, $99 for know what to labor on!
0[anonymous]13y
Actually, it is.
8negamuhia13y
6mej1013y
That isn't going to help me sleep at night.
[-]Nornagest13y900

A cult will kill you because you are made of a million dollars that it could use for something else.

That's actually not a terrible way to put it.

Reply
[-]acephalus13y520

Absence of sex is evidence of the Least Convenient Possible World.

The thing knows its audience.

Reply
[-]Shmi13y400

Well, it can already impersonate Will_Newsome, so passing the Turing test should not be that far off.

Also, some of the local big cheeses are allergic to the four-letter word starting with cu and ending with t, consider replacing.

Reply
[-]RomeoStevens13y520

everyone needs to stop being such a cunt about it.

Reply
[-]faul_sname13y140

You're certainly sounding curt today. How rude.

Reply
2RomeoStevens13y
And here I thought I was the cunningest.
2[anonymous]13y
Yes, but silver is good too.
[-]Desrtopa13y350

In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing death and a box containing Quirrellmort.

One of the few cases where it's a good idea to open a box containing death.

Reply
[-]Larks13y350

universal death is the mind killer

sounds legit to me!

Reply
[-]faul_sname13y300

I made a non-typo'd version if anyone is interested. Here it is: http://joshua-david.net/php/cards_against_rationality.php.

If anyone wants the php source code that made it, that's here: http://joshua-david.net/php/cards_against_rationality.php.php.

Because I know LW is big on meta-anything, the source code for that source code can be found here: http://joshua-david.net/php/cards_against_rationality.php.php.php.

Some choice ones:

  • My karma score is the unit of caring.
  • That which can be destroyed by paperclips should be.
  • The coherent extrapolated volition of humanity includes a term for getting downvoted on Less Wrong.
  • Inside Eliezer Yudkowsky's pineal gland is not an immortal soul, but Eliezer Yudkowsky.
  • What is true is already so. The chaos legion marching song doesn't make it worse.

tip: put ?n=5 at the end for 5 of them

Reply
[-]Dreaded_Anomaly13y270

Rule 34:

The coherent extrapolated volition of humanity includes a term for the set of all possible fetishes.

Reply
[-]J_Taylor13y120

My model of you likes negging.

Nice neg.

Reply
[-]TimS13y120

The latest hot fanfic: moldbuggery and the Methods of the Library of Babel's porn collection.

Make it stop, make it stop.

Reply
[-]ShardPhoenix13y110

Less Wrong is not a cult so long as our meetups don't include guessing the teacher's password.

Reply
9SilasBarta13y
* Why haven't I signed up for a horcrux? * I'm signed up with Alcor, so Lukeprog's love life will be frozen when I die. * Reversed Quirrellmort is not deathism. * I am running on corrupted tit-for-tat. * If you're not getting the sequences, you're spending too many resources on unfriendly AI. * A ridiculously complicated zendo rule is what the Stanford prison experiment feels like from the inside. * Absence of the least convenient possible world is evidence of applause lights. * What is true is already so. negging doesn't make it worse.
8thescoundrel13y
Eliezer Yudkowsky is what acausal sex feels like from the inside. Inside Eliezer Yudkowsky's pineal gland is not an immortal soul, but counterfactual hugging.
8Randaly13y
"The thirteenth virtue of rationality is updating." "The thirteenth virtue of rationality is meta-contrarianism." "What is true is already so. negging doesn't make it worse." "Eliezer Yudkowsky doesn't have a chin; under his beard is Eliezer Yudkowsky." "Eliezer Yudkowsky updates the New York meetup group to fit his priors." "Sunk costs is highly correlated with two-boxing." (Could be valid- this actually sounds like an interesting topic for an experiment.) "If you're not getting my karma score, you're spending too many resources on getting downvoted on less wrong."
7Armok_GoB13y
To clarify, since I made the mistake and wrote out a long rant before noticing it and deleting said rant: This thing is not a different version of mine, but his own implementation that follows the original cords against rationality much more closely and in general has an entirely different philosophy than mine.
6faul_sname13y
I actually like your implementation better, just because of the sheer complexity of the sentences it sometimes outputs (makes it sound more like LWers).
5Armok_GoB13y
I'd better hope so, considering how much more complex my implementation is and how much more content I put into it.
8faul_sname13y
...I am officially impressed (I just had a look at your code: it's considerably more complex, as well as allowing for recursion. You may not be the best at spelling, but you are quite impressive as a coder.)
4Armok_GoB13y
Thanks! ^_^
0NoSignalNoNoise13y
2FiftyTwo13y
This needs to be written, or in fact any rationalist Rand crossover
2listic13y
Sometimes it returns an empty page.
[-]Eliezer Yudkowsky13y280

I want to want akrasia.

Um...

Reply
7SilasBarta13y
Expanded, that means, "I want to want to want to not want [to smoke]." (Replace bracketed term with any other akratic habit. Remember, akrasia is, loosely, when you want to not want to do something.) I'm still trying to unwind that. Belated happy birthday btw
6Giles13y
Shouldn't that be "I want to want to (want to smoke and want to not want to smoke)"?
[-]J_Taylor13y240

The utility function of an upload of God is a god.

That is some sweet theology.

Reply
[-]J_Taylor13y240

You are not the territory.

That is a really pithy rebuttal to solipsism. It's also what I would say to people if I were a solipsist.

The truth is the art of winning at the truth.

So Zen.

The truth is the mind killer.

So bloody Zen.

That which can be destroyed by you should be.

That's... that's a wee bit evil, isn't it?

Pinkie Pie is not a million dollars.

#trufax

Reply
[-]Desrtopa13y230

"humanity would tile the universe with politics" is obviously false.

Not that obvious.

Reply
[-]RomeoStevens13y220

In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing LessWrong and a box containing physics.

ouch.

Reply
[-][anonymous]13y210

Hmmm it seems we now have the technology to build an automated LessWrong poster. Merely program the bot to comment in heavy traffic threads where it sure to be noticed then after a fixed amount of time delete any comments that get less than 1 karma.

Man and machine, wisdom extreme!

Reply
[-]Pentashagon13y230

I hereby request that the technology be named The Automated Teacher's Password Guesser, because your comment about the higher frequency of such comments was the first thing I thought of when I saw this.

Reply
[-]thomblake13y180

after a fixed amount of time delete any comments that get less than 1 karma.

Of course, it's practically a solved machine learning problem to also use those comments to learn what sorts of comments get downvoted and improve the bot.

Reply
[-]Will_Newsome13y140

If someone makes a really well-optimized version of Armok's bot that pays attention to key words in comments and replies somewhat intelligently, I'll give them the Will_Newsome LessWrong account to use for that purpose.

Reply
6Will_Newsome13y
Alternatively I think a Will_Newsome bot that made lots of references to Leibniz and algorithmic information theory and decision theory concepts and then appealed to secret evidence would be pretty cool.
[-]wedrifid13y110

Alternatively I think a Will_Newsome bot that made lots of references to Leibniz and algorithmic information theory and decision theory concepts and then appealed to secret evidence would be pretty cool.

Awesome, that'll go great alongside the "Ban comments by Will Newsome" bot we provide Alicorn!

Reply
2TheOtherDave13y
I am now reminded of M-x psychoanalyze-pinhead.
4Will_Newsome13y
You're too conservative Konkvistador, I think I'd rather use these powers for chaos & destruction. Bwa, ha, ha.
4Karmakaiser13y
I'm to the right of Konkvistador and I think this is a fully general argument contra Konkvistador.
4Multiheaded13y
I'm to the left of him and I agree, but I have to note that in our age political large-C Conservatism and being small-c conservative in practice have basically nothing to do with each other.
[-][anonymous]13y200

"The coherent extrapolated volition of Eliezer Yudowsky is the mind-killer."

Well crap.

Reply
[-]asparisi13y200

I would say that this makes sense about as often as the grad students in my philosophy department make sense, with only a few more spelling mistakes.

Reply
[-]AlexMennen13y200

Physics is a paperclip maximizer.

Uh-oh.

Reply
[-]BlackNoise13y200

I'm an aspiring god

Reply
[-]philh13y200

""utility is isomorpic to a matrochika brain" is obviusly false" is obviusly false if and only if In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing the truth and a box containing counterfactual politics

I think this is actually true.

Reply
[-]Richard_Kennaway13y190

I can handle humanity, because I am already enduring it.

Reply
[-]SilasBarta13y190

Btw, the spelling errors were really bothering me, so I opened the JS and corrected it all. (I'd post it here, but it says "comment too long" and would probably do the same for a PM.)

Edit: I put it on pastebin for 24 hours. Thanks Vladimir_Nesov!

Reply
9Vladimir_Nesov13y
You could just use pastebin.
1Armok_GoB13y
AUGH! I explicitly said in the OP NOT to do this. I'll be adding more and redoing this and in general it's just a lot of wasted effort that will have to be redone!
4SilasBarta13y
Sorry, I figured I had finished it soon enough that you could incorporate the spelling corrections before making more modifications. This looks like a job for ... Version Control! ~cheesy superhero music~
0Armok_GoB13y
The site I'm using, JSbin, sort of has Version Control built in. But you didn't use that... Anyway, trying to copy the fixes like that from one version to another is probably more job then just redoing it from scratch. Less obviously, spellchecking new stuff added on top chaotically probably is more work than just doing it over as well. Hence, waiting until it's out of alpha before handling it. Once I want help with the spelling I'll probably post instructions on how to do it in a way that won't interfere with other stuff.
2SilasBarta13y
And I also did it for my personal benefit (while using the generator on my computer), even if it would have no impact on future revs. So there. :-P j/k
0[anonymous]13y
You can link to your edit by copying the URL and removing the /edit portion, right?
[-][anonymous]13y180

"Why did my meta-contrarianism get downvoted?"

"I'm an aspiring Eliezer Yudkowsky."

"You make a compelling argument for guessing the teacher's password."

"We have encountered aliens who communicate through the obvious schelling point."

"You can't fit a sheep into a Lukeprog's love life."

"The thirteenth virtue of rationality is my karma score."

"You have no idea how big the set of all possible fetishes is."

"An improperly-programmed AI might tile the universe with the Stanford prison experiment."

"Instrumental rationality is the art of winning at nootropics."

"The obvious schelling point is highly correlated with the least convenient possible world."

"You have no idea how big moldbuggery is. "

"The latest hot fanfic: updating and the Methods of meta-contrarianism."

"What is true is already so. negging doesn't make it worse."

Arguably better than the average LessWrong poster.

Reply
0Will_Newsome13y
Significantly better—the occasional recursion makes it way more reflective than the average poster.
[-]MixedNuts13y180

What is true is already so. Torture doesn't make it worse.

New pick-up line:

You are vulnerable to timeless sex.

A Kool-aidey pair:

Less Wrong is not a cult as long as our meetups don't include a death maximizer.

The forty-sixth virtue of rationality is "Always obey the guiding influence of a death maximizer".

This one's for Clippy:

Eliezer Yudkowsky is an aspiring paperclip maximizer.

What ethical injuctions are for:

Any rationalist will kill you because you are made of Friendly Artificial Intelligence that it could use for something else.

Getting rid of groupies:

The tenth virtue of rationality is "Let me not become attached to Eliezer Yudowsky I may not want"

Too late:

Less Wrong is not a cult so long as our meetups don't include Pinkie Pie.

Reply
[-]Cthulhoo13y160

Cards against rationality is what the least convenient possible world feels like from the inside.

Aaaand this is as meta as it could be... is it?

Reply
1Armok_GoB13y
Where did you get this from? the generator doesn't have any of those in it yet.
3Cthulhoo13y
I got it from faul_sname's version and apparently made the mistake to comment to the main thread instead of his post, sorry for the confusion.
0Karmakaiser13y
No. Meta has a infinite regress or you just aren't meta enough about it.
0fubarobfusco13y
If you aren't getting an infinite regress, you're spending too many resources on meta.
[-]Richard_Kennaway13y150

The outside view is what the Bayesian Conspiracy feels like from the inside.

Reply
[-]Normal_Anomaly13y130

Less Wrong is not a/an agent so long as our meetups don't include any optemization proccess!

That's an actual useful truth we ought to keep in mind. Huh.

Reply
[-]Lightwave13y130

that which can be destroyed by the utility function of humanity should be

Almost true by definition?

Reply
[-]KenChen13y120

Omega updates the truth to fit its priors.

Reply
[-]Document13y120

In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing the truth and a box containing decision theory.

Less Wrong is not a cult so long as our meetups don't include humanity.

Reply
[-]RomanDavis13y110

The forty twoth virtue of rationality is "Let me not become attached to sex I may not want"

I am running on corrupted the set of all possible fetishes.

Reply
[-][anonymous]13y110

.

Reply
8RomeoStevens13y
Counterfactual Sex is a great band name.
[-]Rubix13y220

As well as a much-loved pastime.

Reply
[-]Dolores198413y110

Less Wrong is not a cult, so long as our meetups don't include a Matrioshka brain.

I'm an aspiring human

"politics is isomorpic to politics" is obviusly false

In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing sex and a box containing the coherent extrapolated volition of Pinkie Pie

Reply
5falenas10813y
My first result: "I'm an aspiring rationalist." I was confused as to why this was funny, until I hit generate again and got "the choherent extrapolated volition of LessWrong is the mind-killer if and only if torture is truly part of Pinkie Pie." Edit: Followed by "The truth is isomorphic to sex."
2NancyLebovitz13y
Is "choherent" a spelling error or an injoke?
4Rubix13y
Spelling error.
4Dolores198413y
[-]Dolores198413y120

Quirrelmort is vulnerable to acausal sex

Reply
[-]FiftyTwo13y110

The twenty fourth virtue of rationality is "avoid a sex maxemizer at any cost"

Reply
6SilasBarta13y
True, that.
0Dolores198413y
This thing talks truth.
4FiftyTwo13y
8Dolores198413y
2Dolores198413y
"The Bayesian Conspiracy updates the truth to better fit its priors."
4FiftyTwo13y
That one almost sounds like ti means something...
0[anonymous]13y
A/an upload of Ben Goertzel would tile the universe with sex.
[-]shokwave13y100

In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing a/an economics expert and a box containing rationality.

Hanson, or Yudkowsky? Tough choice.

Reply
[-]NancyLebovitz13y100

I'm very impressed with the high proportion of results that turn out to be funny. I'm not sure whether this says something about your skill at programming the generater, about LW, or both.

Reply
[-]Armok_GoB13y100

Think it mainly says something about the nature of humour and human language actually. Or possibly my skill at coming up with the phrase templates- The actual logic is just iterated find-replace, and I've used the same engine earlier on a widely different subject with similar results.

Reply
[-]negamuhia13y100

Less Wrong is not a cult so long as our meetups don't include Unfriendly God.

Wow.

Edit: and this counterexample, immediately after.

politics is isomorpic to physics

Edit #2: Aargh.

In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing timeless torture and a box containing torture

The thirty eigthth virtue of rationality is "always obey the guiding inluence of Robin Hanson"

Reply
[-]palladias13y100

Less Wrong is not a cult so long as our meetups don't include God.

Death is the art of winning at the utility function of a cult

Quirrelmort will kill you because you are made of death that it could use for something else.

Reply
[-]Desrtopa13y90

That which can be destroyed by awesome stupidity should be.

I think I can maybe get behind this.

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[-]Desrtopa13y90

Unfriendly Ben Goertzel is vulnerable to Unfriendly Luke Muelhauser.

Place your bets ladies and gentlemen.

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6gwern13y
Does the UBG still believe in psi, and does the ULM get some sort of modafinil-equivalent for uploads? If so, I know how I'm betting.
[-]Kaj_Sotala13y90

They/them says "caring is the art of winning at infanticide".

That's slightly disturbing.

The coherent extrapolated volition of the Bayesian Conspiracy is not the set of all possible fetishes.

No? Damn.

Reply
[-]Normal_Anomaly13y90

Inside Pinkie Pie's pineal gland is not an immortal soul, but an argument abaut the world of My little babyeater: Friendship is stupidity.

I don't know if I want to read that argument or not.

The Least Convenient Possible World is truly part of the New York meetup group.

The Bayesian Conspiracy is vulnerable to immortality.

Best vulnerability ever.

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[-]knb13y90

My first one:

Robin Hanson is the Mind-Killer

Sounds like a "Chuck Norris Fact".

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[-]cousin_it13y90

The map is truly part of you

Thanks for making this!

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1Armok_GoB13y
You're welcome! ^_^
[-]Normal_Anomaly13y90

Why did my a horcrux get downvoted?

Take a wild guess.

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1Armok_GoB13y
HUH? I don't have either of those in there either. Something weird is going on.
[-]Alejandro113y160

It is FOOMing. Run for your lives.

Reply
2Normal_Anomaly13y
I think mine is from one of the other generators posted in the comments.
[-]Rubix13y90

The thirty-fourth virtue of rationality is avoid sex at all costs.

Dammit, Spock.

sex is truly part of any rationalist

But you just said...

Less Wrong is not a cult so long as our meetups don't involve a cult.

Less Wrong is not a cult so long as our meetups don't include a sex maximizer.

The forty twoth virtue of rationality is "avoid universal rationality at any cost"

In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing rationality and a box containing truth.

Humanity is the art of winning at torture.

Okay. I'm done here.

Reply
[-]Eneasz13y90

That which can be destroyed by Robin Hanson should be

Less Wrong is not a cult so long as our meetups don't include you

Reply
[-]darius13y80

There's a Javascript library by Andrew Plotkin for this sort of thing that handles 'a/an' and capitalization and leaves your code less repetitive, etc.

Reply
0Armok_GoB13y
Weird, I just found this random helpful post, marked as down-voted by me and with a strong aversion attached. Fixed the vote, but can't figure out if the aversion is a bug or a feature.
[-]chaosmosis13y80

There are no decision theory experts.

In practice, true.

This may sound a bit crazy right now, but hear me out: rationality is not the territory.

Amusing.

Replace humanity with paperclips.

Clippy.

Have you read My Little Horcrux: Friendship is Torture?

My second favorite one.

Timeless sex is highly correlated with Friendly Lukeprog.

I do not know Luke in any way, and that's not my orientation, but I lol'd.

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[-]iii13y80

Inside the Blind Idiot God Evolution's pineal gland is not an immortal soul, but the truth.

I love this thing, we should include it as a site feature next to the comment button and compare user ratings on randomly generated posts to the rest.

Reply
1Armok_GoB13y
I'm flattered! And if we did that, it'd be even better since I'd be putting more work into it.
[-]Airedale13y80

I love it!

I wanna be the Society for Rare Diseases in Cute Puppies!.

I'm an aspiring babyeater.

The latest hot fanfic: Aubrey de Grey and the Methods of universal sex.

That which can be destroyed by awesome warm fuzzies should be.

In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing timeless hugging and a box containing fun.

Reply
5beoShaffer13y
Fixed it for you.
[-]FiftyTwo13y80

I estimate a sixty three percent probability that a/an babyeater would tile the universe with decision theory if and only if the set of all possible fetishes is isomorpic to the New York meetup group if and only if in the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing any improperly-programmed upload and a box containing the configuration space of all possible minds.

How long can they get?

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5Armok_GoB13y
in theory? infinite. Well, until your computer runs out of memory at least.
[-]asparisi13y80

In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing the truth and a box containing physics.

Does this mean that there is no physics in the truth-box? That's an awesome box! I think I'm more excited about the box than what is inside it! Do I get to keep the box?

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[-]ewang13y80

a million dollars is the mind-killer

So, scope insensitivity?

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[-]MrMind13y80

Weeee...

Physics is the art of winning at truth

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9MrMind13y
This thing is Dark...
[-]minorin10y70

LessWrong updates the truth to fit its priors.

Them's fightin' words, Random Profound Deep Wisdom Generator!

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2Armok_GoB10y
This thing is still alive?! :D I really should get working on that updated version sometime.
[-]ygert12y70

"Sex is highly correlated with inferential gap."

"Wait, wait, shock level seven is turning into Omega's model of Harry Potter?"

"That which can be destroyed by the world of My little old master: Friendship is clopfic should be."

"The set of all possible fetishes is what timeless Edward Cullen feels like from the inside."

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[-]NoSignalNoNoise13y70

Less Wrong is not a phyg so long as our meetups don't include God.

ok so far...

Less Wrong is not a phyg so long as our meetups don't include humanity.

uh oh...

Less Wrong is not a phyg so long as our meetups don't include LessWrong.

Well I guess we're screwed.

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[-]TheOtherDave13y100

Nah, we just have to be careful to include a space in our meetups.

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[-][anonymous]13y70

"The map is not the territory."
"Robin Hanson is vulnerable to death."

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[-]BT_Uytya12y60

In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing the map and a box containing warm fuzzies.

Self-delusion or accurate beliefs? We all can empathize with this choice.

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[-]Richard_Kennaway13y60

The twenty fourth virtue of rationality is "Relinquish the Way".

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[-]A1987dM13y60

I think a/an upload of Harry Potter is going to solve metaethics.

Of course he is!

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[-]Psy-Kosh13y60

"what is true is already so. the statement that "a/an upload of Pinkie Pie will kill you because you are made of the utility function of the Society for Rare Diseases in Cute Puppies that it could use for something else." doesn't make it worse" is obviously false? Have a lot of caring!

hrm...

You make a compelling argument that a/an babyeater is the art of winning at infanticide.

I guess that one works.

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[-]TGM13y60

The affective death spiral is isomorphic to this thread.

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[-]NoSignalNoNoise13y60

God will kill you because you are made of the choherent extrapolated volition of Friendly humanity that it could use for something else.

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2A1987dM13y
Isn't that what Christians say happened to Jesus?
0NancyLebovitz13y
Sounds like an Olaf Stapledon fan.
[-]fubarobfusco13y60

As one of the creators of Cards Against Rationality, I have to say ... glad you all enjoy it enough to code it up. :)

"An improperly-programmed AI might tile the universe with rationalist clopfic."
"Affective death spirals will kill you because you are made of the Bayesian Conspiracy that it could use for something else."

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[-]NancyLebovitz13y60

In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing politics and a box containing death

The twenty threeth virtue of rationality is "always obey the guiding inluence of Pinkie Pie"

politics is the art of winning at the utility function of God

The fifty fourth virtue of rationality is "avoid counterfactual truth at any cost"

"a sex maximizer is isomorpic to LessWrong" is obviusly false

that which can be destroyed by a million dollars should be

The forty twoth virtue of rationality is "always obey... (read more)

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[-]RobertLumley13y60

what is true is already so. a million dollars doesn't make it worse

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[-]J_Taylor13y60

Less Wrong is not a cult so long as our meetups don't include LessWrong.

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[-]see13y60

Less Wrong is not a cult so long as our meetups don't include any rationalist.

In an Iterated Prisoners' Dilemma, God beats a cult

that which can be destroyed by humanity should be if and only if acausal torture is the art of winning at rationality

timeless sex is the mind-killer

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[-][anonymous]12y50

I'm an aspiring human

Hello, Data.

In the future, Eliezer Yudkowsky will be remembered for Pascal's Mugging.

The tenth virtue of rationality is "avoid Eliezer Yudowsky at any cost"

... ... ... ... it's onto him.

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[-][anonymous]13y50

"Absence of the sanity waterline is evidence of improperly-programmed Aubrey de Grey."

Very nearly my thoughts exactly...

"This may sound a bit crazy right now, but hear me out: the Least Convenient Possible World is isomorpic to quantum infanticide."

"Humanity is an aspiring matrochika brain."

"That which can be destroyed by a timeless upload of Pinkie Pie should be."

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[-][anonymous]13y150

Oh my god this was even better

"In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing the world of My little babyeater: Friendship is infanticide and a box containing an Unfriendly upload of Robin Hanson."

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7gwern13y
I'll be honest, given Robin's apparent enchantment with em hell and how the 'poor also smile', I think I'm going to go with turning the world into My Little Babyeater: Friendship is Infanticide. Hey, lots of societies historically practiced infanticide and were decent enough places to live.... At least that would preserve most current human values.
-2[anonymous]13y
...
[-]DataPacRat13y50

I'm an aspiring horcrux.

Given that I wrote this Orion's Arm idea as an exploration of one possible lifestyle involving multiple instantiations of a single individual... I find that I am well pleased.

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0Armok_GoB13y
I love everything you write. Also, I keep meaning to contact you by email but keeps forgetting.
0DataPacRat13y
In that case - conquer your akrasia and email me as soon as you read this. :) (If you don't have my contact info, it's easy enough to remember - I'm DataPacRat at DataPacRat dot com.)
[-]Richard_Kennaway13y50

LessWrong is not the territory.

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[-]TGM13y50

The map is the mind-killer

Seems Legit

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[-]komponisto13y50

You know what the New York meetup group say: one person's warm fuzzies is another person's rationality.

Happy to hear it!

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[-]NoSignalNoNoise13y50

I'm an aspiring rationalist

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[-]aaronde13y50

Is it bad that I almost instantly find a way to make sense of nearly all of these? For example:

This may sound a bit crazy right now, but hear me out: a/an anthill is an aspiring ontologically basic mental entity.

Sounds like a reference to Hofstadter's musings on reductive versus holistic descriptions of reality in Godel, Escher, Bach, when he used an anthill as an example.

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1Armok_GoB13y
That's actually where I got the idea of adding anthill from.
[-]NancyLebovitz13y50

More seed phrases

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1Armok_GoB13y
Thanks! Will look through these!
[-]Will_Newsome13y50

I <3 you.

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2Armok_GoB13y
D'awww, I love you to! ^_^ /me hugs
2A1987dM13y
Come on, guys, get a room. (SCNR)
0[anonymous]13y
You forgot to ask before hugging. *ducks*
[-]SilasBarta13y50

Edit: Some more (some spelling corrections):

  • In an Iterated Prisoners' Dilemma, Pinkie Pie beats you
  • General Artificial Intelligence is an aspiring human
  • In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing Eliezer Yudowsky and a box containing the choherent extrapolated volition of Pinkie Pie
  • universal death is not decision theory
  • Less Wrong is not a cult so long as our meetups don't include you. (OUCH!)
  • (deleted it by accident, but something like) "The 25th virtue of rationality is avoid LessWrong at all co
... (read more)
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[-]Scott Alexander13y50

Sex is isomorphic to Eliezer Yudkowsky

Nice.

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[-]Scott Alexander13y350

That which can be destroyed by torture should be.

...I don't like this game anymore :(

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0FiftyTwo13y
[-]Tenoke13y40

The singularity is highly correlated with an argument abaut awesome immortality. fair enough

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[-]Psychosmurf13y40

Inside Harry Potter's pineal gland is not an immortal soul, but the level five Tegmark multiverse.

Hmmm... makes sense...

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[-]beoShaffer13y40

Fire is not a/an ontologically basic mental entity.

Humanity is vulnerable to the territory.

Seems sensible enough.

A/an sheep-counting machine once said: "the configuration space of all possible minds is truly part of you.".

Nevermind.

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[-][anonymous]13y40

the choherent extrapolated volition of an upload of a cult is the art of winning at the utility function of LessWrong

Makes sense.

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[-]Slackson13y40

The art of winning at politics is counterfactual torture.

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[-][anonymous]13y40

Truth is the mind-killer.

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[-]asparisi13y240

I got

Death is the mind-killer.

Which made me go, "Well... yes."

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[-]Trevor_Caverly13y40

" 'What is true is already so. The coherent extrapolated volition of God doesn't make it worse' is obviusly false if and only if timeless politics is isomorphic to truth if and only if the tenth virtue of rationality is 'Let me not become attached to the map I may not want' " is obviously false.

Well, it's true.

Also, This is way smarter than than the Deepak Chopra quote generator.

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[-]drethelin13y40

Probably should be in the Open thread instead but I like this thing

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6Normal_Anomaly13y
Also it would take over the open thread.
1Pentashagon13y
Perhaps it should be used to generate the front page of notalwayscompletelywrong.com
[-]ChristianKl10y30

The twenty fiveth virtue of rationality is "Be faithless to humanity and betray it to the Way".

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1Armok_GoB10y
Wow, people are still finding this occasionally. It fills me with Determination.
[-]devas13y30

the territory is not the territory.

This is...what? I think my brain broke or else it went out to have a good laugh

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1devas13y
.....I swear this is the last output I am going to write down
0Armok_GoB13y
No, please continue, it's always great fun to see someone enjoying this!
[-]magfrump13y30

Inside Ben Goertzel's pineal gland is not an immortal soul, but the sanity waterline.

A universal clopfic maximizer is the art of winning at fire.

I am going to waste a lot of time on this thing if I don't stop myself right now.

proceeds to stop

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[-]ZenJedi13y30

Here are some favorites I wanted to share. I think the simplest ones are best -- they have a real Zen quality to them!

That which can be destroyed by awesome hugging should be.

A/an human is vulnerable to causal hugging.

I am running on universal warm fuzzies.

A/an upload of Ben Goertzel would tile the universe with sex.

Friendship is highly correlated with Friendly you.

Humanity is the mind-killer.

The truth is highly correlated with I.

The map is highly correlated with hypotheses.

The territory is not the territory.

There are no rationalists.

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2FiftyTwo13y
8DanArmak13y
Azathoth created hugging, and made you like it.
[-]Rubix13y30

Thanks for making this! It's motivated me to copy and play around with your code, which I haven't actually done with code before and which turns out to be insanely low hanging fruit for learning. (Which you already knew, but I didn't.)

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0Armok_GoB13y
You're welcome! However, don't do that quite yet since I'm planing to do more stuff and it'd lead to a mess of forking and having to redo things over and over. Feel free, and even encouraged, to make suggestions thou! (except spelling ones, to many of those to be workable at this stage) Exception is if you're redoing most of the templates and adapting it to some other form of statements than deeply wise LessWrong ones. Feel free to do that kind of using the engine as much as you want. Strongly recommend using the JSbin Clone feature for that.
[-][anonymous]13y30

Truth is truly a part of you.

Sounds deep, bro.

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[-]curiousepic13y30

Physics is the mind-killer.

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[-]Steven_Bukal12y20

Instrumental stupidity is the art of winning at Pinkie Pie's utility function.

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[-][anonymous]13y20

The seventy fiveth virtue of rationality is "It is especially important to eat a/an upload of Eliezer Yudowsky's model of Lukeprog's coherent extrapolated volition and torture which impinges upon the New York meetup group".

Grammar is not a strange loop through subordinate clauses dammit. ><

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0Armok_GoB13y
Why not? :D
[-]SilasBarta13y20

The new one gets a lot more variety, but hits on clever stuff with a lower frequency. I ran it for a while and only got a few worth sharing:

  • Universal friendship is a/an hugging maxemizer.
  • Paperclips is truly part of a/an corrupted upload of Pinkie Pie.
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0Armok_GoB13y
Yea, I got that feeling to. :(
2SilasBarta13y
Have you updated it since? It seems to be getting a lot better! After I started recording good ones, I got: * You know what a/an improperly-programmed upload of Pinkie Pie say: one person's torture is another person's rationality. * Corrupted Pinkie Pie would tile the universe with hypotheses. * The twenty fiveth virtue of rationality is "Beware of the utility function of any improperly-programmed General Arteficial Intelegences". * Subjective physics is not rationality. * What are your priors on if a/an General Arteficial Intelegence once said: "look, just rejecting the sanity waterline and the planning fallacy doesn't make someone a/an Friendly upload of Eliezer Yudowsky."? * This may sound a bit crazy right now, but hear me out: that which can be destroyed by a/an human should be. * Before Lukeprog goes to sleep, it scans it's computer for uploaded copies of a/an Unfriendly upload of Lukeprog. * This may sound a bit crazy right now, but hear me out: corrupted Omega is vulnerable to acausal infanticide. (These are still at about the level of the results in my previous comment, but I got them a lot more frequently.)
0Armok_GoB13y
Nope. Either you're choosing from a larger sample this time or it's just luck.
2SilasBarta13y
Another awesome one: * you make a compelling argument that a/an Unfriendly upload of Omega would tile the universe with rationality if and only if a/an rationalist is an aspiring god
[-]NancyLebovitz13y20

Less Wrong is not a cult so long as our meetups don't include an upload of Quieralmort.

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[-]Bruno_Coelho13y20

The singularity includes a term for physics.

Legal term?

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[-]asparisi13y20

From the new one:

Clopfic is what infanticide feels like from the inside.

Halt. Melt. Catch fire. Laugh.

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[-][anonymous]13y20

The configuration space of all possible minds is truly part of God's coherent extrapolated volition.

Whoa.

The Least Convenient Possible World includes a term for your love life.

Ouch.

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[-]Luke_A_Somers13y20

Less Wrong is not a cult so long as our meetups don't include Unfriendly a cult.

I think a field type came in wrong here.

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1Armok_GoB13y
yea as I said I threw this together quickly, planing to do more today. The things starting with "a" is one of the things that need fixing.
[-]FiftyTwo13y20

LessWrong is not the territory

An important reminder.

Less Wrong is not a cult so long as our meetups don't include Pinkie Pie.

Huh....

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[-]bramflakes13y20

I'm an aspiring paperclip maximizer

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[-]FiftyTwo13y100

I'm an aspiring god

True.

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[-]FiftyTwo13y10

except for some grammar issues that'd require disproportionately much work.

Please keep them, the incongruity of it all adds to the charm.

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0Armok_GoB13y
'kay.
[-]Manfred13y10

Nice nice nice.

Less Wrong is not a cult so long as our meetups don't include Robin Hanson.

Poor Robin Hanson :P

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[-]maia13y140

He came to a DC meetup once.

So... crap.

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[-][anonymous]13y00

Some favorites I wanted to share. I think the simplest ones are best -- they have a real Zen master quality to them!

That which can be destroyed by awesome hugging should be.

A/an human is vulnerable to causal hugging.

I am running on universal warm fuzzies.

A/an upload of Ben Goertzel would tile the universe with sex.

Friendship is highly correlated with Friendly you.

Humanity is the mind-killer.

The truth is highly correlated with I.

The map is highly correlated with hypotheses.

The territory is not the territory.

There are no rationalists.

[This comment is no longer endorsed by its author]Reply
[-][anonymous]13y00

that which can be destroyed by timeless decition theory should be

Found wisdom?

[This comment is no longer endorsed by its author]Reply
[-][anonymous]13y00
  • In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing quantum politics and a box containing Eliezer Yudowsky

  • I still aleve that In an Iterated Prisoners' Dilemma, Robin Hanson beats Eliezer Yudowsky

  • Unfriendly God is isomorpic to sex if and only if Pinkie Pie is isomorpic to humanity if and only if you are an aspiearing human

[This comment is no longer endorsed by its author]Reply
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221Comments

So, I were looking at this, and then suddenly this thing happened.

EDIT:

New version! I updated the link above to it as well. Added LOADS and LOADS of new content, although I'm not entirely sure if it's actually more fun (my guess is there's more total fun due to varity, but that it's more diluted).

I ended up working on this basically the entire day to day, and implemented practically all my ideas I have so far, except for some grammar issues that'd require disproportionately much work. So unless there are loads of suggestions or my brain comes up with lots of new ideas over the next few days, this may be the last version in a while and I may call it beta and ask for spell-check. Still alpha as of writing this thou.

Since there were some close calls already, I'll restate this explicitly: I'd be easier for everyone if there weren't any forks for at least a few more days, even ones just for spell-checking. After that/I move this to beta feel more than free to do whatever you want.

Thanks to everyone who commented! ^_^

old Source, old version, latest source

Credits: http://lesswrong.com/lw/d2w/cards_against_rationality/ , http://lesswrong.com/lw/9ki/shit_rationalists_say/ , various people commenting on this article with suggestions, random people on the bay12 forums that helped me with the engine this is a descendent from ages ago.